local car dealers

Giant of the Valley - very obviously anti-asian ads.

ARPeice: "'A 25-foot-high, inflatable, muscle-bound green man stood watch over passing cars from above the showroom of the Suzuki dealership.'"

heh?

This just came in from the company that I'm freelancing for. Feel free to try and explain:

Team,

The Olympic Bldg will be locking it's front doors at 5:45pm this Friday (15 mins. earlier than usual) in preparation for daylight savings.

Thanks,

B_____ E____-

Liquid Paper - Bette Nesmith Graham

Weirdness! And irony! And, um, The Monkees...
Liquid Paper - Bette Nesmith Graham: "Liquid Paper - Bette Nesmith Graham (1922-1980)

Bette Nesmith Graham was a secretary and a single mother who used her own kitchen blender to mix up her first batch of liquid paper.

It was originally called 'mistake out' and was the invention of Bette Nesmith Graham, a secretary in Dallas and a single mother raising a son, Michael (The Monkees). Bette Nesmith Graham was an artist and use to handling paints and inks. She used her own kitchen blender to mix up her first batch of liquid paper, the substance used to cover up mistakes made on paper.

Bette Nesmith Graham put some tempera waterbased paint, colored to match the stationery she used, in a bottle and took her watercolor brush to the office. She used this to correct her typing mistakes… her boss never noticed. Soon another secretary saw the new invention and asked for some of the correcting fluid. Graham found a green bottle at home, wrote "Mistake Out" on a label, and gave it to her friend. Soon all the secretaries in the building were asking for some, too.

In 1956, Bette Nesmith Graham started the Mistake Out Company (later renamed Liquid Paper) from her North Dallas home. She turned her kitchen into a laboratory, mixing up an improved product with her electric mixer. Graham’s son, Michael Nesmith (later of The Monkees fame), and his friends filled bottles for her customers. Nevertheless, she made little money despite working nights and weekends to fill orders. One day an opportunity came in disguise. Graham made a mistake at work that she couldn’t correct, and her boss fired her. She now had time to devote to selling Liquid Paper, and business boomed."

Al Franken radio show

Hallelujah. Portlanders, turn to AM 620 KPOJ. Wonder if they have an ad agency yet...

Nationwide, hit AirAmerica.com.

Somewhere buried in this blog is the LA Booksellers meeting that had Al Franken on the same stage explaining how Bill O'Reilly had been lying about his Peabody award. Maybe a google search brings it up...

..:: AM 620 KPOJ -- Progressive Talk ::..: "The O'Franken Factor
With Al Franken and Katherine Lanpher"

haveityourway.com

never underestimate the power of a little mayo licking, and a funny redheaded guy going 'baaaaaah!'

my friend Juan Carlos Gutierrez and I used to have a love affair with the Crispy Italian Sandwich while in Ad School.

click on TV. then 'Missing' to see the spot.HAVEITYOURWAY.COM

Back in the USA Today

Back in my USA Today Travelling Businessman lifestyle, this time at the Red Lion Hotel, which is not a suite. In addition to losing a kitchen and a tv, the quality of the room seems down a notch. No jacuzzi, sadly.

To make up for it, they put the USA Today on the doorstep as opposed to next to the free breakfast buffet downstairs.

There is an 'Irish' pub downstairs though. There's something inherently, wonderfully odd about drinking at hotel bars to me. Especially when you can network with other businesspeople. I need to go to an instyprint and get some bidness cards made up.

Been tossing around the idea of making up cards for my freelance business which would say, 'Miguel Caballero, P.I.'

But that's not going to cut it in jet lag single-serving world. There's always 'Import/Export' which works wonders on the pacific rim, but I don't think I *want* my fantasy career to be that.

This book presented a wonderfully displacing view of Airworld, which presents frequent flyer miles as the ultimate goal of any sane businessman. I don't even have an Alaska Airlines frequent flyer number.

On further thought, I think I want to be a forensic accountant. No, something skewed on that. Like a forensic actuary. ('It's all hush-hush. Can't talk about it too much, my new friend,' he says over his 4th whiskey and diet coke (Atkins has worked wonders), 'But let's just say the Swiss while secretive, are rather predictable.')

OK. Now, i've got to go back to work.

bhangra

Shook my ass off at Bhangra night at the Fez. Local DJ The Incredible Kid and ... shit, i can't remember, but it's not like you'll find rival bhangra gangs in Portland. A half-assed, half-hungover search on the net yielded the sampler below.

Anyway, this club night is not to be missed. The Fez's groovy Moroccan decor and good vibe lays a perfect foundation for a mixed (in the Indo/European sense) group of people happily shaking their asses. At one point, the Hindi guys started running around in some kind of mad mosh pit, hava negila chair raising.

Hey, voxeons: they even played some Dahler Mendi.

Various Artists: Bhangra Beatz: A Naxos World Collection - PopMatters Music Review: "The other branch focuses on the dhol, the larger drums worn around the neck and played with hands or with curved drumsticks. The dhol is more closely associated with Indian folk-dances than with ragas, and the main way that the dhol is used in modern music is in the dance form called bhangra. This music, which has been filling clubs from New Delhi to London to New York for more than 10 years, relies on the dhol to function as a huge bass tone, thumping out a heartbeat that shakes dancers to their very souls while Indian folk- and film-derived melodies and vocal lines float above it. It's exotic, it's familiar, it's the best of both worlds.
But most of the people shaking their asses to this cool sound have little or no idea that bhangra as a musical and dance form has existed in the Indian/Pakistani territory of Punjab for centuries. Farmers have celebrated the harvest of 'bhang', or hemp, for 600 years with this dance, so it is really no surprise that it can be updated (and boogied to). This compilation collects some of the best bhangra tracks from Kiss Records, one of the UK's most prominent labels of South Asian music; it was originally released in 2000, but has now been re-released with a 'nicer'-looking cover, which means I can stop kicking myself for not grabbing it back when I had the chance.
And it's kickin'. You drop this disc in the player, pump up the "

Bumper sticker

Unsure of the source, but my friend Ken uses this as his signature on his emails.

Keep pornography out of the White House: No more Dick or Bush!

Polyphonic Spree reveal new album release details - NME.COM

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

Polyphonic Spree reveal new album release details - NME.COM: "THE POLYPHONIC SPREE have confirmed the US release date for their second album TOGETHER WE'RE HEAVY.
As previously reported on NME.COM, The Polyphonic Spree's new album, 'Together We're Heavy', is recorded and ready for release. The band are expected to sign a new UK record deal shortly, after which the follow up to 2002's 'The Beginning Stages Of...' will be released.
In the US, the album will come out on July 13, and the group will tour in support of David Bowie, starting next week. In addition, the group will perform on NBC's ?The Tonight Show? with Jay Leno on April 21"

Trojan Olympic Games :: Video

Wow, is all I can say. Trojan Games :: Video

1000journals

Really fucking cool. 1000journals: "Overview:
The1000journalproject is an independent, privately funded social experiment. It is an attempt to follow 1000 journals throughout their travels, to see where they go, and what people do with them.

The Concept:
The concept evolved from some other interests / ideas I've had. Photographing bathroom walls, collaborative writing, etc. The idea of passing the journals on can be traced to the Exquisite Corpse, a technique used by surrealists as a kind of collective collage of words or images. There's a good explanation of it here.

The Reason:
The goal is to provide methods for people to interact and share their creativity. If you ask a kindergarten class how many of them are artists, they'll all raise their hands. Ask the same question of 6th graders, and maybe one third will respond. Ask high school grads, and few will admit to it. (explained in this book)

What happens to us growing up? We begin to fear criticism, and tend to keep our creativity to ourselves. Many people keep journals, of writing or sketching, but not many share them with people. (when was the last time a friend invited you to read their diary?). You will not be judged here. And you will have company. This is for you. For everyone. "

Yahoo! News - A skewed view of advertising

Pretentious twat. Of course, I'd do anything to work at his company.

Yahoo! News - A skewed view of advertising: "'The future of advertising is that it doesn't exist,' he says - damning his own profession's dependence on the 30-second TV commercial. 'The party is coming to an end for everybody.'"

spellcheck

am i the only one that feels like something is wrong if spellcheck can't find a misteak in a word document?

Plain English Campaign

Plain English Campaign: Press office: Our latest press release: "At the end of the day... we're fed up with clichés.

Plain English supporters around the world have voted "At the end of the day" as the most irritating phrase in the language.

The following terms also received multiple nominations:
24/7
absolutely
address the issue
around (in place of 'about')
awesome
ballpark figure
basically
basis ('on a weekly basis' in place of 'weekly' and so on)
bear with me
between a rock and a hard place
blue sky (thinking)
boggles the mind
bottom line
crack troops
diamond geezer
epicentre (used incorrectly)
glass half full (or half empty)
going forward
I hear what you're saying..
in terms of...
it's not rocket science
literally
move the goal-posts
ongoing
prioritise
pushing the envelope
singing from the same hymn sheet
the fact of the matter is
thinking outside the box
to be honest/to be honest with you/to be perfectly honest
touch base
up to (in place of 'about')
value-added (in general use) "

BITTER WITH BAGGAGE

My friend Stephanie was in town this weekend from NYC. She brought along a stack of these books to give as gifts. They're so good, I almost don't want to share them here. Y'know, the old problem with the philosopher's stone being worthless if you shared it with the world...

Hi-fucking-larious. And this isn't even close to the best one. Click on e-cards.

BITTER WITH BAGGAGE

we are an idiot

we are an idiot

new exploding dog

i'm fighting a cold and loneliness in the emerald city.

but this cheers me up.

I woke up like this

Where are they now? (former football player category)

Heh. This is embarrassing. Former UF Quarterback Jesse Palmer is the new Bachelor.

I'd like to be a fly on the wall next time he's in the NY Giants locker room.

ABC.com: ABC's 'The Bachelor' Wednesdays 9/8c: "Jesse Palmer, the next Bachelor, begins his journey of love on April 7. Check back here soon for more information."

Lacuna Inc.

Lacuna Inc.: "REMEMBER, WITH LACUNA YOU CAN FORGET
The Lacuna Inc. staff has made giant strides in brain research. They have discovered a simple and effective way to remove problem memories. No longer do you have to live with life debilitating memories. Live again, take the steps now"

Yahoo! News - Suicide Warning Sought for Antidepressants

Ah, fuck. No wonder they won't refill my sleeping pills more than once a month.

Yahoo! News - Suicide Warning Sought for Antidepressants: "WASHINGTON - Doctors who prescribe some popular antidepressants should monitor their patients closely for warning signs of suicide, especially when they first start the pills or change a dose, the government warned Monday."

COMEDY CENTRAL: Games

holy fuck.

at the company i'm on my 'trial freelance date' with, i was just told to keep my office clean and not put anything up on the windows facing the hallway.

wow. and they've only seen me on about 6 on a scale of 1 to 10.

I had this old thing up, too.

COMEDY CENTRAL: Games

Seattle Mariners : Fan Forum : 2004 Mariners Commercials

the agency i'm freelancin' for did these. probably the best are the clapper, poker and boonie.

Seattle Mariners : Fan Forum : 2004 Mariners Commercials: "Watch the Mariners 2004 TV ads
Joel Pi?eiro and Rafael Soriano adopt a puppy, Edgar Martinez has another lighting project, the Moose tries to teach Scott Spiezio how to bluff in clubhouse card games, and there is suddenly an unexpected need for the services of a Midwestern translator for post-game interviews. All that and more highlights the Seattle Mariners 2004 TV advertising campaign.

This year's batch of TV commercials includes seven 30-second spots that feature 19 players, pitching coach Bryan Price, third base coach Dave Myers and manager Bob Melvin. The campaign also introduces a new tag line for the 2004 season: 'Mariners Baseball. Get all of it.'

We hope you enjoy this year's TV campaign and be sure to vote for your favorite commercial! "

The Seattle Times: Microsoft: What do (some) women want? A Microsoft man

Ack. In my USA Today/Summerfield Suites existence, I ask myself: do i want to move here?The Seattle Times: Microsoft: What do (some) women want? A Microsoft man: "online"

The Onion | Rumsfeld Hosts No-Holds-Barred Martial Arts Tournament At Remote Island Fortress

I should be writing small space ads for HomeStreet Bank. But fuck it, the picture here is funny.

The Onion | Rumsfeld Hosts No-Holds-Barred Martial Arts Tournament At Remote Island Fortress

Kiss ME, Yo soy Irish.

CORONA LIGHT ST. PATTY'S STRING BANNER - BeerSodaSports.Com Online Stor

black ribbon

i tried to find some black ribbon at Freddy's and Safeway tonight.

no dice.

i'll go to the craft store tomorrow.

if you pray, please pray for everyone involved. if you don't, spend some time this week helping out someone. give blood. sign up to read to kids. do something. please.

Soy un espanol

more photos.

this shot is from the Basque capital. the sign says, "They were killed because they were Spanish. I, too, am Spanish."

in a region that is fiercely nationalist, this is a defiant statement of the Basques' humanity.

BBC NEWS | In Pictures | In pictures: Spain defiant in grief

BBC NEWS | In Pictures | In pictures: Spain defiant in grief

In the lower right, a sign saying "Catalans love Madrid." It would be like someone in rural Alabama holding up an I (heart) NY sign after 9/11.

Galer?a de Im?genes

Images from the protests in Spain.

yes, that says, "Terrorist. Cowards. Dickheads." roughly translated.

James - Sit Down

I've always found solace in this song.

Available on iTunes.

James - Sit Down lyrics: "Those who feel the breath of sadness
Sit down next to me
Those who find they're touched by madness
Sit down next to me
Those who find themselves ridiculous
Sit down next to me

In love, in fear, in hate, in tears
In love, in fear, in hate, in tears
In love, in fear, in hate, in tears
In love, in fear, in hate

Oh sit down
Oh sit down"

Spain Struggles to Absorb Worst Terrorist Attack in Its History

I'm pissed and I'm saddened and I'm angry.

I'd almost prefer a nihilistic terrorist attack than something so misguided and cynical and political, and ultimately, futile. Did the perpetrators really believe that this would cancel or negatively affect elections in Spain on Sunday? We're more resilient than that. I'd be surprised if there isn't a 3 million + protest on the streets of Madrid sometime in the next few days.

Motherfuckers.

The Atocha station is within 1 mile of my uncle and aunt's place in madrid. my aunt was scheduled to take a train out later in the afternoon.


Spain Struggles to Absorb Worst Terrorist Attack in Its History

Paz ahora ETA

World leaders react.

Charles Baxter - Author

Reading a book of short stories (and, as the title indicates, a novella) by Charles Baxter. I really enjoyed 'Feast of Love' as have a couple of other friends.

The problem with the stories, and for my penny, short stories in general, is that they leave me feeling unsettled. They represent a slice of life or a situation that leaves me feeling sad.

(note: paraphrasing)
Molly's response, "But the best stories are sad."
'no, the best stories are hopeful'
"That means sad"
'i disagree'

I think with a story arc, you inhabit more of a character's struggle and see how they'll do against it. Casablanca, for example, has an 'unhappy' ending, but there's something redemptive and hopeful about it.

It's a sunny day. So, I'm going to stop sitting inside in front of my computer, and go outside and see if the wireless signal reaches my courtyard.

Charles Baxter - Author: "Believers: a novella and stories
© 1997
read/print an excerpt - >>

The seven stories and novella in Believers revel in the surfaces of seemingly ordinary characters while uncovering their bedrock of passion, madness, levity, and grief: the young women with a sweetly nurturing boyfriend who may have a secret history of violence; the housewife whose upstairs neighbor is either a child-killer or a pathetic fabulist. In the main novella the narrator works to piece together his father's history, and tells the story of a Catholic priest whose involvement with a sinister, wealthy couple leads him away from his promise of faith."

Tiny Mix Tapes

And Kate put "Your smile's a drug" on a mix CD. driving home after lunch with my ex on a perfect contrail blue day, i started crying while singing this song. stuck in my head.

(available on iTunes)

also, if anyone knows the name of the remixer of the White Stripes 'Seven Nation Army', post it.

Patrick Park review - Tiny Mix Tapes: "With the passing of Elliott Smith, any hope for deliverance from the current crop of ersatz singer-songwriters now seems utterly lost. And while he’s not nearly as hopelessly morose nor as melodically inventive as the now fallen master of mope-pop, Patrick Park is one of the rare artists that manages to speak with his own voice from the first time he opens his mouth; and Loneliness Knows My Name is a powerful statement of intent.

Interestingly, Park has most often drawn comparisons to another tragically lost singer-songwriter, Jeff Buckley, as he possesses a similarly expressive voice and dramatic sensibility. Equally comfortable with lush strings and intricate fingerpicking (“Your Smile’s A Drug”) as he is with muscular guitars (“Honest Skrew”) and bluesy-slide playing (“Sons of Guns”), Park possesses a perfectly restless spirit, never inhabiting a piece of creative ground long enough to cast a categorizable shadow. "

Jesus was a black man

While looking for old songs to put on a mix tape for my friend Jen's birthday (working title, "Badass songs by badass women") I came across my old Black Grape CD. Go buy 'Kelly's heroes' from ITunes.

Amazon.com: Music: It's Great When You're Straight...Yeah: "Pretty much a Happy Mondays continuation, but less frantic. 'Straight' was a big hit in the UK, and is a surprisingly successful album, mixing bizarre stream-of-consciousness narration with indie beats, a bit like The Fall but happier. It came out at the heigh of britpop and helped soundtrack the summer of '95, with 'Reverend Black Grape', 'In the Name of the Father' and 'Kellys Heroes' getting masses of airplay on the briefly funkified Radio One. They're all fun singles - lots of beats and guitars and samples with Shaun Ryder over the top and Bez probably dancing somewhere in the studio - and the rest of the album is just as well-crafted. 'A big day in the north' is an atmospheric sort-of-ballad, 'Tramazi Party' is a shout-along terrace-anthem that never was, and it peters out towards the end but is still good fun.
It shouldn't really work, but it does - Ryder can't sing in a conventional sense, he has a vocal range of one wobbly semitone, but his semi-rapping, semi-whining voice is amazingly soulful, and whilst dancer and hanger-on Bez doesn't even appear on the record his vibe seem to exude forth from the speakers. The production is deviously clever, putting the above into a professional framework, and it's basically the Happy Mondays, but more modern.
Best of all, 'Kelly's Heroes' contains the all-time classic lyric 'Jesus was a black man, no, Jesus was Batman, no no no - that was Bruce Wayne!'. And a completely incomprehensible chorus. "

Fallon.com - Office

shout out to Shelley Ward for coming to Portland. shouts down to Mike Ward for not coming, too. boo!

again! again!

again! again!

It's cold. I'm tired. I won a no-limit texas hold 'em tournament for the tune of $75. i was mostly sober (ok, at least not drunk).

At the end of the night the deposed, presumptive favorite, cited our dear "Jack Peterson" and dove onto a fully beer bottled table. Thurs, breaking the table and creating a spectacle. Todd would've been the favorite, but apparently, he lost his shit early on in the evening.

Other than the Co-caine, and Co-caine accesories, i've no idea how i won. got lucky on a few hands. or something.

shout out to Hart Rusen for not having to go up ot his mother in law's dog's put down. shout out to JImmy Kemper for hosting.

worried shouts out to munn for disappearing post table distruction.

shouts to our cab driver for both knowing english and my street address.

and SHOUT OUT TO Me FOR READING up an figuring things out and making $100.

i can play. yes sir. especially with my perfect math SAT score. if only i'd hit Tony Danza's perfect score. I'd be somebody.

If you're ever in a no-limit, look for Tony's accent. The stronger the accent, the bigger the bluff.

polyphonic dvd and live stuff

Two of my favorite music moments from last year involved seeing the Polyphonic Spree live. Now, short of getting one of those portable dvd players and sitting in a park while eating a coupla tabs of 'e', you're not going to get quite the same experience, but it'll still be nice.

Could someone *please* leak their new album already?

filter magazine - news: "Polyphonic Spree to Release DVD
by Kim Jones | 03.02.2004

Symphonic pop group the Polyphonic Spree will be releasing a CD/DVD entitled The Adventure of Listening in late March.

The disc will contain b-roll footage, exclusive interviews, material from their debut release, The Beginning Stages of..., and live tracks from a show performed at the Metro in Chicago in the fall of 2003, along with other surprises.

The Adventure of Listening will not be released in stores. Rather, it will only be available through the band’s website and at live performances. The group plans to release an additional album chock-full of new material sometime this summer.

The Polyphonic Spree is known not only for their uplifting and catchy pop songs, but also for their impressive size. The group is 24 members strong, including a 10-piece choir, two keyboardists, a harpist, a bassist, guitarist, flautist, trumpeter, trombonist, violist, a French horn player, and a theremin player. The band was founded by former Tripping Daisy leader, Tom DeLaughter, who not only sings in the group, but is also their conductor. "

Equinox fine dining

Went to Equinox for the third time last night, and with my fine epicurian background, and, um, interesting ability to mix flavors in my own kitchen. I feel compelled to write a review.

The food is all relatively hearty - lots of spices, usually served with garlic mashed potatoes and a heavy sauce. I've hit the specials menu (see blackboard, below) for Chicken Vesuvio, Chicken Korma and I can't remember the other thing.

My friend, Deidre, herself a restaurant manager. Stuck to the Weeds and Apps sections of the menu. She had the interesting habanero seasoned caesar salad. I didn't care for it, but she liked it.

My Chicken Korma was tasty, maybe a little peanuty, but the garlic mashed potatoes were certainly something you don't get at the Tandoori Hutt.

Oh, fuck it. I'm no good at restaurant reviews. My summary: I'll definitely go back. We got out of there for $43 including a couple of beers. The specials' menu makes each trip interesting. The service is slightly subpar, but they did accomodate my special water needs. (that's another post for another day). I'd recommend it, but not glowingly. Another Portland restaurant of interest.

Here's the review from Oregon Live:

oregonlive.com: Dining & Bars: "A few blocks north, just around the corner from Mississippi on Shaver, things are a little quieter. But not much. Equinox Restaurant and Lounge, inside a funkily rehabbed space that opens onto a serene courtyard, is dark and industrial and very, very relaxed.

All eyes, at one point or another, swivel to the hanging blackboard that lists a dozen or so specials, things that carry the promise of dexterity, spice, surprise. Equinox may look like a neighborhood bar, you suddenly realize, but it's much more than that.

A good bit of the Mississippi action's been built around eating places, the kind of gathering spots that spark a sense of community. But Hula Hands and Equinox raise the stakes, elevating their cooking to citywide status and giving the Mississippi revitalization a pair of culinary exclamation points.

More than that, they reflect a kind of handmade restaurant ethic that's taking Portland's east side by storm: casual, quirky, a little sassy, unpretentious, modestly priced but devoted to good (and usually organic or natural) food. It's as if they've taken the starch out of the restaurant game and decided to just have fun.

Equinox doesn't have Hula Hands' beguiling sense of place, but the cooking here is very good, and if it sprawls, it backs up its global ambitions with some very good chops. Chef Desmond Luesely's loose theme is food from equatorial regions, though it also wanders easily to cooler latitudes.

Luesely's picked up a lot of tricks in his vagabond career: His resume lists stints with Paul Prudhomme and Le Cirque, an apprenticeship at Maxim's in Paris and three years as Hugh Hefner's private chef.
What he's learned is on the plate: a creative mix of flavors, spicing that prickles but doesn't overpower, a fondness for peppers and a delicacy that makes possible the sweet/tart subtleties of dishes such as his winter pillow of pears, caramelized onions and blue cheese in puff pastry.

Oppositions of flavor and texture play big here: the softness and crunch of butternut squash/black bean/corn salad rolls with a spiky habanero yogurt dip; the dance of warm potatoes and manchego against smooth greens and a light shiitake vinaigrette; good grilled salmon with a salty kick from a prosciutto wrap. And that specials menu just keeps bringing new possibilities.

Grade: B Cuisine and scene: Exciting, map-hopping combinations (including vegetarian) in an industrial rehab

Sound level: Moderate

Service: Friendly and smart, but sometimes missing in action

Strength: Uptown cooking in a low-key space

Flaw: Space can seem drab; less-than-strategically placed bathroom door swings open to view from tables.

Price range: Inexpensive/moderate; entrees $7.50-$12, more for specials

OregonLive.com - NewsFlash

OregonLive.com - NewsFlash

422 marriage licenses were granted yesterday. The previous one day high was 68.

Hearing these numbers makes me want to see Ross Perot explain all of this with his pie charts.

Now back to being unemployed. At least I'm not at war.

Oregon accepts gay marriages

County accepts gay marriages: "County accepts gay marriages
Multnomah County becomes the first in Oregon to license same-sex
unions, joining an intense national debate"

03/04/04
LAURA GUNDERSON
and DAVID AUSTIN

Multnomah County will begin granting marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples today, making it the first jurisdiction in Oregon to officially recognize that same-sex couples can marry."

George W. Bush or Chimpanzee?

George W. Bush or Chimpanzee?

To quote the Simpsons: 'From Chimpan-Aaay to Chimpan-W'

strong possiblity

that i fucked up 40 minutes worth of semi-drunken posts by closing a window.

holy crap for crap. find it yourself on homestarrunner.com (it's dot.... net!)

Ever feel

interesting until you run into someone that seems to have something really interesting to say?

I read an interview with Ben Stiller a while ago (with Vince Gallo, and some fuck we can't remember) in which he mentioned this. How do you respond to a story about a woman who took American high school students to Costa Rica and was robbed at gunpoint?

"But I'd accept what's coming round if I could only lose this sound, that's been ringing in my ears, and tormenting me for years..."

Honestly, I'm only posting until my 4 hour erection goes away. Thanks Cialis! Thank God I can concentrate on my impeturbable cock instead of throwing a football through a hoop or bugging my doctor.

btw

we chose (you chose) picture 098 for my resume.

LA, you're on notice. Unless I get into the sleeping pills again. Or the Unicorns. Beware the unicorns.

Although, check out the group. Here via mp3 technology.

Full site here.

Disappointing Picadillo

Cooked picadillo again tonight, but it turned out kinda watery and slushy. Maybe I underbeefed (less meat than the recipe), or undercooked (medium heat) or maybe I underqualitied (lean ground beef v. fat shit.)

Tomorrow, I go to lunch with Jo Marie for sushi. She had a Down's Syndrome cousin who (with the TV in his head) would suddenly CLAP and exclaim, "BOB HOPE!" and then giggle for a few seconds.

I've been paraphrasing this quote from "There's Something About Mary" for quite a while.

My version goes:

"But I'd have to say that my real joy is working with retards. God bless 'em, I love the goofy little bastards."

$1200 shoes

Oh, and btw, the company I freelanced for won the account we working on. Instead of the balance of money I'm owed, I get a free pair of shoes from Brooks Running Shoes.

Hi, I'm an overpronator who runs between 0-5 miles per year. Can you please recommend a shoe?

So, I chose the coolest looking shoes, which admittedly, is hard to do with Brooks.

If they feel OK for walking around, I want the speed shoes, in blue, which I can't find. on their website. Otherwise, these.

And when I get them, I can point to them and say, LOOK HERE. EACH OF THESE SHOES IS WORTH $1200.
I'm not bitter.

drunken miscellany, hidden remote

yeah, mofos, i hit 30-50 tennis balls tonight, exactly 1 year after hurting my back while trying to impress a future University of Arkansas tennis coach. (semi-true).

John Edwards dropped out of the dem's pres ra.

I had a shot with Sean at Big Ads (currently R-West, home of the Trunk Monkey. That's about a once every 6 months average. Or somewhere around a .010 batting average. It's necessary for my survival. And my liver. If only Mickey Mantle would've been so smart.

I meant to make Jen Collins a mix cd for her birthday entitled 'Songs for a Badass woman by Badass women.' but didn't get around to it. Central on it was a mix of 'Birthday' by the Sugarcubes (Bjork's band with some annoying guy shouting about Lobsters) by Justin Robertson.

Shortly after meeting Jen, I told her her equanimity could be read as disingenuosness.

Actually, what I said sounded a lot more like Vorgon poetry, but it was *my* birthday, and well, I could slander people as well as Karl Rove.

Anyhow, she's 41. Or as I tell people checking my ID, 'Celebrating 20 years of drinking.'

'Legally.'

www.mnftiu.cc | get your war on | page thirty-one

Great. It's sunny. I'm marinating some picadillo, and I'm depressed as hell. Oh, and I'm doing some more freelance in Seattle for St. Patrick's Day. At least there's madcap get your war on | to make sure that we concentrate on steroid use instead of the war or the defecit.

I'm going to go escape into Champions of Norrath until dinnertime. It's a magical realm, with easily definable, achievable goals, and most importantly, a reset switch.

the 10 of 10

There was a new attractive physical therapist at New Heights this morning. Older, but really well put together with a great smile, and a ring.

So, it got me to wondering about what the boyfriends or husbands of the 10 most attractive women I know, look like. Tall? Short? Muscular? Glasses? Long hair? Smart? Creative? Well-dressed? Slobs? Just curious.

What would they look like for you?

Whoooooooooohoooooooooooooooh!

The Burning Man Project :: Welcome Home: "The man burns in 186 days"

I just bought my ticket. (After sleeping until 1pm - a full 12 hours. A residual e effect.)

And since the man burns in 186 days, it'll be less than a year before I arrive out on the playa.

Fuck yeah!