Wednesday, February 28, 2007

College Republicans New Compassionate Conservatism

Ah, jeez. From the should've known it was a really bad idea department.


RNC: We don't control College Republicans' 'Catch an Illegal Immigrant'

WASHINGTON - National Democrats on Tuesday urged Republican Party chairman Mel Martinez to stop the independent College Republicans from holding "Catch an Illegal Immigrant" events around the country.

The game is a variation of hide and seek, with one player posing as an illegal immigrant and everyone else trying to find the person. The winner usually gets a prize.

Tracy Schmitt, a spokeswoman for the Republican National Committee, said "we find these activities both egregious and offensive and condemn them wholeheartedly." But she noted the College Republicans are independent of the RNC: "We do not control their activities."

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Judge says local suspect will stand trial for sodomy

Judge says local suspect will stand trial for sodomy: "Judge says local suspect will stand trial for sodomy
Saturday, February 24, 2007

Bay County Circuit Judge Joseph K. Sheeran ruled Friday that even though Michigan law does not explicitly define sex with a dead dog as a crime, charges against a Saginaw man will stand."

wind + overgrown bamboo = insomnia

Who gets kept awake all night by their neighbor¹s overgrown bamboo shoots

hitting, creaking and rubbing against their roof during a storm?

Oh yeah, me. That¹s who.

Friday, February 23, 2007

promotion to ADD

Our HR department sent out an email about our promotion to ACDs. Of course, they messed it up in the subject line of the email.

"From: Elizabeth
Sent: Friday, February 23, 2007 10:37 AM
To: Everyone Binoculars
Subject: New ADDs in the house

Their contributions over the last year have earned them 3 extra letters on their business cards.
We’re really happy to announce the promotion of Marcus and Miguel to Associate Creative Directors.
Stop by and ask them to buy you a beer.


Kevin and Jeff

P.S. There is no truth to the rumor that Miguel’s new cards will have an embossed gator on them."

Thursday, February 22, 2007


neat, originally uploaded by ideateller.

The puddle i.e. the Disorient message board, adopted my slogan idea as its


Boing Boing: Guy mistakes porn DVD sounds for victim, appears with sword

Great fucking headline.Boing Boing: Guy mistakes porn DVD sounds for victim, appears with sword: "Guy mistakes porn DVD sounds for victim, appears with sword

Dude in Wisconsin hears woman shrieking for help in apartment upstairs. Said dude rushes upstairs, wielding an antique sword, kicks down the door to save the damsel in distress, and discovers another dude sitting alone, watching a porn DVD. Link. (Thanks, Chris). Image: Dude. (James Van Iveren, erstwhile swordsman, now charged with three criminal counts.)

Update: These guys came up with a far better headline than I: 'Man Choking Chicken Nearly Stricken.' (Thanks, Frank)"

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A Modern Fairy Tale | Anna Nicole Smith | The Pop of King | News Notes | Entertainment Weekly

Interesting from Stephen King.

A Modern Fairy Tale | Anna Nicole Smith | The Pop of King | News Notes | Entertainment Weekly

A Modern Fairy Tale
Stephen King considers the story of Anna Nicole Smith, the little girl who became a princess -- but, like too many before her, fell prey to the contemporary equivalent of the Big Bad Wolf

All About
Anna Nicole Smith
By Stephen King
Stephen King
Stephen King

Here's a fairy tale for you. It's a good one; everybody knows it and loves it. It's from the Book of American Fame and Celebrity. Ready, kids? Once upon a time, in a dusty little Texas town called Mexia, there lived a poor (but pretty) little girl named Anna Nicole Smith. She worked at Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken to add her bit to the family finances, but she harbored bigger dreams. The walls of her bedroom were covered with posters of Marilyn Monroe. Her heart burned with the desire to be a star. And you know what? Partly because of her beauty and mostly because of good ol' hard work, her American dream came true! Yes! She went to parties in a mansion, had her picture taken for a magazine filled with pretty girls, became a famous model (for which brand name? guess), married a rich and handsome prince, even got her own network TV show. And, of course, she lived happily ever after!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The future of heat-beaming weapons. - By William Saletan - Slate Magazine

I think this is good. More precision, less actual physical damage = less people killed, right? right?

Regardless, it's cool as fuck.

The future of heat-beaming weapons. - By William Saletan - Slate Magazine: "Shooting PainThe future of heat-beaming weapons.
By William Saletan
Posted Saturday, Feb. 17, 2007, at 6:27 AM ET

If you're worried about terrorism, upset about the war in Iraq, and depressed by global chaos, violence, and death, cheer up. We've just invented a weapon that fires a beam of searing pain.

Three weeks ago, the U.S. armed forces tested it on volunteers at an Air Force base in Georgia. You can watch the video on a military Web site. Three colonels get zapped, along with an Associated Press reporter. The beam is invisible, but its effects are vivid. Two dozen airmen scatter. The AP guy shrieks and bolts out of the target zone. He says it felt like heat all over his body, as though his jacket were on fire."

Monday, February 19, 2007

Haggard Scared Straight | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

I like comparing Scared Straight therapy to ACL surgery. Remarkably similar, I'm sure.

Haggard Scared Straight | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "Haggard Scared Straight

The Reverend Ted Haggard, who left his ministry amidst allegations of drug use and hiring male prostitutes is now reportedly 'completely straight' after three weeks of therapy. What do you think?
Asian Man

Joseph Kennedy,
'Man, that's faster than my recovery after ACL surgery. I should have just been gay instead.'
Old Man

Lyle Jacobs,
Big Rig Mechanic
'I'm skeptical. I'd want to see him have sex with a lady…my wife…I want to watch another man fuck my wife. Oh, God, what's wrong with me?!'
Old Woman

Victoria Slulum,
Punch-Press Operator
'It's true. I saw that press conference where reporters tempted him by waving a bunch of meth-covered cocks in his face, and he didn't even flinch.'

Porn Viewed By Young | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Both hands up if you never looked at porn when you were under the age of 18.

Porn Viewed By Young | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "Porn Viewed By Young

A study published by the journal Pediatrics says that nearly half of Internet-using children, ages 10 to 17, have seen pornographic images. What do you think?
Old Man

Dennis Goodwiler,
Court Stenographer
'It's disturbing to realize that over half of children 10 to 17 are liars.'
Old Woman

Tina Dobbs,
Systems Analyst
'I'm not worried about it happening in my house. I had my kids install blocking software.'
Young Man

Noel Sinese,
'That's very disturbing. It really makes me think about who might be on the other side of the webcam when I'm stripping.'"

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Carter vs. Worms

Some truly ghastly diseases with wince-inducing descriptions:

From the Times Week in Review section

The first stop of Mr. Carter’s four-nation African trip was Ghana, where he visited his projects to wipe out the Guinea worm, a horrendous two-foot-long parasite that lives inside the body and finally pops out, causing excruciating pain.

Mr. Carter was shaken by the victims he met, including a 57-year-old woman with a Guinea worm coming out of her nipple.

“She and her medical attendants said she had another coming out her genitals between her legs, and one each coming out of both feet,” Mr. Carter added. “And so she had four Guinea worms emerging simultaneously.”

“Little 3-, 4- and 5-year-old children were screaming uncontrollably with pain” because of the worms emerging from their flesh, Mr. Carter said. “I cried, along with the children.”

We tend to think of human rights in terms of a right to vote, a right to free speech, a right to assembly. But a child should also have a right not to suffer agony because of a worm that is easily preventable, as well as a right not to go blind because of a lack of medication that costs a dollar or two, even a right not to die for lack of a $5 mosquito net.

As president, Mr. Carter put the issue of human rights squarely on the national agenda. Now Mr. Carter argues — and he’s dead right — that we conceive of human rights too narrowly as political and civil rights, and that we also need to fight for the human right of children to live healthy lives.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Current Venice weather

Current Venice weather, originally uploaded by ideateller.

Maybe Portland really isn¹t where it¹s at.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Palm Desert stylo

Reserved this condo, (thank you!) a 2 BR that sleeps 6, for Coachella weekend.

Now just need to get everyone to commit or not.

Yea! Palm Desert.



Cool damn site, with lots of VEN diagrams.


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

ESPN: Page 2 : Ability is the issue -- not orientation


ESPN: Page 2 : Ability is the issue -- not orientation: "Ability is the issue -- not orientation

By LZ Granderson
Page 2

Last week, in reaction to John Amaechi's revealing his sexual orientation, I wrote a column suggesting, among other things, that an openly gay player in a major sport would not have as hard a time as some people think. While most of the e-mails I received agreed with the sentiment, I kept reading a variation of this question: How are straight players supposed to act with a gay teammate in the shower? Translation: the gay guy is going to be checking out teammates and trying to have sex with them.

That certainly was Shavlik Randolph's concern when he said "as long as you don't bring your gayness on me I'm fine." While I find it comical that straight players like Shav are so delusional they believe everybody wants to see them naked, I can understand the concern. After all, this ain't Europe. Here nudity means sex. That's one of the reasons some guys feel it's necessary to gay bash in the locker room -- they want all the naked men around them to know they are not thinking about sex. This overreaction is similar to the one that prevents guys from saying another guy is attractive, as if the admission means they want to sleep with him.

Juvenile, yes, but it is what it is.

And the truth is men know men -- a straight guy in a locker room full of women is going to look, so it's safe to assume a gay guy in a locker room full of men is going to do the same.

Or not.

Meet Adam Goslin, a senior at Washington University in St. Louis. Goslin, a DL on the football team, is not on the DL -- he's openly gay. His family knows, his friends know, the entire football team knows. "Goose," as they call him, started telling folks on campus he was gay around his sophomore year.


But dude, what about the shower?

"That's one of the things that cracks me up when people talk about gay teammates," Guthrie says. "How is it that the straight guys are the ones who feel threatened? I mean, what do they think is going to happen, the guy is going to rape them or something? If anything I think it's the gay guy who would feel awkward in that situation."

Joe Lubelski is from Chesterland, Ohio, a small town of about 3,000. He says he's never met a gay person in his life before Goose and was shocked to think one could play football.

"The shower thing popped in my head at first," Lubelski said. "You know, wondering if he was going to look at me or something, but then I realized just how stupid it was to be worried about taking a shower next to somebody. Especially a friend and a teammate."

Monday, February 12, 2007

Boing Boing: A Directory of Wonderful Things

I've been wanting to do a new fake movie soundtrack with fake movie quotes as a gift cd again. One of the stories i've thought about recording has been a series of phone calls made from a hotel guest to room service, maintenance, etc. to collect all the items in order to make meth.

Apparently, these calls get made.

Boing Boing: A Directory of Wonderful Things: "Hotel coffeepot = li'l ole mini meth lab!
Over at the Street Use 'crude technology' blog, Kevin Kelly says,

According this the local news station in Huntsville Alabama, the ubiquitous cheap Mr. Coffee pot in hotel rooms is often used as a just-in-time makeshift mini-laboratory to make the drug meth.

[excerpt]: Ask just about anyone in law enforcement, and they'll tell you to be careful if you ever brew coffee in a hotel room. 'I know enough now that whenever I go to a hotel, regardless of how nice it is, I'll never use a coffee pot,' said Marshall County District Attorney Steve Marshall.


Orange County Weekly


Orange County Weekly: "Illegally Park-ed

An Irvine cop ejaculates on a motorist but escapes criminal liability
Thursday, February 8, 2007 - 3:00 pm
Officer Park: put your hands behind my back
Officer Park: put your hands behind my back
No one disputes that an on-duty Irvine police officer got an erection and ejaculated on a motorist during an early-morning traffic stop in Laguna Beach. The female driver reported it, DNA testing confirmed it and officer David Alex Park finally admitted it.

When the case went to trial, however, defense attorney Al Stokke argued that Park wasn’t responsible for making sticky all over the woman’s sweater. He insisted that she made the married patrolman make the mess—after all, she was on her way home from work as a dancer at Captain Cream Cabaret.

Robert D. Novak - Not Sold On Clinton -

Hollywood comes out in favor of Obama.

And I think for the record, that Clinton while not unelectable, would have very serious problems winning a national election.

Wondering if there will be a significant Obama backlash soon.

Robert D. Novak - Not Sold On Clinton - "For many months, long before Clinton confirmed that she was a candidate, her agents have been pinning down commitments from a staggering array of Democrats who were connected in large or small degree to her husband to create an aura of inevitability about her nomination. That effort hit a bump two weeks ago with the announcement that David Geffen, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Steven Spielberg, the founders of the DreamWorks film studios who all were thought to be staunch Clintonites, were sponsoring a fundraiser for Obama.

According to Democratic sources, former President Clinton got Spielberg to step away from a tacit endorsement of Obama. Spielberg has let it be known that he will host a future fundraiser for Clinton as part of a policy of helping all Democratic presidential candidates. But Katzenberg and Geffen seem to be clearly in Obama's camp.

Two theories for these defections have been put out by Democrats favorable to Clinton. First, the gay community in Hollywood is seeking revenge against Bill Clinton's 'don't ask, don't tell' policy restricting open homosexuality in the military. Second, the entertainment industry still harbors resentment about Clinton-Gore administration criticism of the material that is presented to children."

Sunday, February 11, 2007


Class, originally uploaded by ideateller.

So, I've been teaching a class at Otis School of Art & Design here in sunny
Los Angeles. The class is 'Advanced Advertising Concepts' and it's very much
like any class at Miami Ad School, Creative Circus or VCU.

I've got 10 students, 8 girls, 2 boys. They¹re generally in their early
20s. Otis is a 4 year school.

Class is on Thursday nights, and we¹re splitting time between having class
at Otis and having class at DDB.

So far, i¹ve given them one assignment: do an ad campaign for any city or
region of Mexico. They did some bad work, some good work, and a couple of
kids did things that will go in their portfolios. The best idea was a
guerilla idea for acapulco. In cold weather cities, they would build
snowmen, and then dress them up in ponchos to make them look like Mexican
guys. They'd have a sign next to them saying, "It's 95 and sunny in

Fucking cool.

So, I've asked to meet with each of the students individually so I can talk
with them and look at their portfolios. That way I can get a better sense of
whether or not the work that they¹re doing is good or bad.

One of the girls told me that she wants to be a copywriter, but that she has
a really hard time condensing her stories into print ads. So, I gave her
some examples of people that do wonderful jobs of capturing a story in a
single instant. Gary Larsen of Far Side fame was the first.

The other were the fine contributors to PostSecret. If you don't visit there
every week, you should. Readers send in postcards that they've made or
altered and written a secret upon.

This is from this week's batch, a Valentine's themed lot.

Visit Frank over at PostSecret.

Wash Your Hands! -

Our TV campaign seems to have reached all the way to Washington, wink, wink.

Wash Your Hands! - "Wash Your Hands!
And stay home? That's a harder question.

Sunday, February 11, 2007; Page B06

THE RECENT discovery that turkeys on a British farm were infected with the H5N1 'bird flu' virus was, as bad news goes, auspiciously timed. Just before the turkeys once again focused attention on the fast-moving virus, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released interim guidelines detailing what states and localities could do to cope with a pandemic of a dangerous form of influenza -- the sort of outbreak that a mutated form of H5N1 could spark."

Stop Him Before He Gets More Experience - New York Times

Can we please elect him now? Please?

Are there really people out there who like Hillary better? And why? Is she more electable? Was Bill that great that she's getting the rub?

Read the last quote here. Wow.

Stop Him Before He Gets More Experience - New York Times: "What Mr. Obama did not have to say is that he had the judgment about Iraq that his rivals lacked. As an Illinois state senator with no access to intelligence reports, he recognized in October 2002 that administration claims of Saddam’s “imminent and direct threat to the United States” were hype and foresaw that an American occupation of Iraq would be of “undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences.” Nor can he be pilloried as soft on terrorism by the Cheney-Lieberman axis of neo-McCarthyism. “I don’t oppose all wars,” he said in the same Chicago speech. “What I am opposed to is a dumb war.”"

Friday, February 09, 2007

Lust in Space


The NY Post's headline today was "Lust In Space" (HT: Joel)

Have astronauts ever had sex in space? - By Christopher Beam - Slate Magazine: "Do Astronauts Have Sex?In space, no one can hear you moan.
By Christopher Beam
Posted Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2007, at 7:19 PM ET

Astronaut Lisa Nowak is facing attempted murder charges after she drove nearly 1,000 miles to confront a rival for the affections of another astronaut, Bill Oefelein. Nowak said that she and Oefelein had 'more than a working relationship, but less than a romantic relationship.' Wait, did they ever get it on in space? "

Dirty Sex Jokes - Where Babies Come From

Not sure why this came up, but it did.

Dirty Sex Jokes - Where Babies Come From: "Where Babies Come From
One afternoon a little girl excitedly approached her mother, and announced that she had learned where babies come from at school that day. Amused, her mother replied, 'Really, sweetie? Why don't you tell me all about it?'

The little girl explained, 'Well... OK... the mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes, and the daddy's thing sort of stands up, and the mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's where babies come from.'

Her mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye to eye, and said, 'Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not where babies come from. That's where jewelry comes from.'"

Mutaytor won't die - Los Angeles Times

Fuck. I've done blow with this guy. I guess maybe he liked me for my hairless body and not my general coolness...

Mutaytor won't die - Los Angeles Times: "Mutaytor won't die
L.A.'s techno-funk-rock collective plans to weather the scandal after its founder gets nabbed on 'Dateline's' 'Catch a Predator' series.
By Ron Garmon, Special to The Times
February 9, 2007

More than one raver or beat-hippie idly surfing network TV on the evening of Jan. 30 knew a brute shock of the all-too-familiar. NBC's 'Dateline,' in another installment of its sordid and successful 'To Catch a Predator' series, rolled tape on the latest batch of vermin lured to an obscure Long Beach residence with online promises of sex with (fictitious) young teens.

Caught in 'Dateline's' on-camera haul was musician Matty Nash, the percussionist-founder of L.A. techno-funk-rock circus the Mutaytor, and one of the few actual celebrities to emerge from the Burning Man subculture. Looking wan and paranoid, Nash bolted the house after host Chris Hanson strode into view with a hammy, 'Did you bring your drums, Matty?' only to meet police officers waiting outside."

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith dies after collapsing - Yahoo! News

I’m trying to put into words how I feel, but it’s kinda difficult... Lemme try by using someone elses:

Caruso: This woman’s not a centerfold...

[puts on sunglasses]

She’s a murder victim.


Anna Nicole Smith dies after collapsing - Yahoo! News: "HOLLYWOOD, Fla. -
Anna Nicole Smith, the former Playboy playmate whose bizarre life careened from marrying an octogenarian billionaire to the untimely death of her son, died Thursday after collapsing at a South Florida hotel, one of her lawyers said.

Smith, 39, collapsed and was unresponsive while staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe Hotel and Casino, said the attorney, Ron Rale. She was rushed to a hospital."

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Flavorpill LA | Daily Cultural Events across Music, Art, and Film in Los Angeles

Create:Fixate returns. Still haven't been to the new location but hope to go Saturday. You should too.

Flavorpill LA | Daily Cultural Events across Music, Art, and Film in Los Angeles: "Multimedia
Create:Fixate: Love. Beauty. Desire.
when: Sat 2.10 (7pm-2am)
where: Create:Fixate (1530 Ivar Ave, Hollywood)
price: $15
details: Event Info

Create:Fixate returns tonight with Love. Beauty. Desire., a high-class evening of multimedia featuring the work of artists like Emi M and Scott Saw alongside live painting and photography, a screening of Song of Songs, and beats by DJs Rodolfo Juarez, Kenneth Graham, and Acid Circus."

Friday, February 02, 2007

Chewbacca goes all Vader and shit.

From the LA Times

Ersatz Chewbacca succumbs to dark side
By Andrew Blankstein, Times Staff Writer
1:41 PM PST, February 2, 2007

A street performer dressed as Chewbacca from "Star Wars" apparently succumbed to the dark side when he allegedly head-butted a tour guide operator in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, Los Angeles police said today.

The incident comes as the Los Angeles Police Department and Hollywood officials are trying to rein in the colorful assortment of actors dressed as various cartoon and movie characters who perform for crowds outside the landmark theater.

After tourists complained that the actors got aggressive and abusive when they refused to pay for posed pictures, the city passed ordinances last year meant to regulate how the characters behaved.

Lost Heart

Lost Heart, originally uploaded by ideateller.

From the Laist


SFGate: Culture Blog! : What's the best adultery song?

Trying to think of the indie rock adultery songs.

SFGate: Culture Blog! : What's the best adultery song?: "What's the best adultery song?

In light of current events, KFOG's Dave Morey conducted a contest this morning for the best adultery song ever.

His listeners (of a certain demographic) nominated a bunch, including the Eagles' 'Lyin' Eyes,' Elvin Bishop's 'Fooled Around and Fell in Love,' and Derek and the Dominos' 'Layla' -- which has the advantage of being about the most famous adulterous affair since, what, Paris and Helen of Troy?

Dave's winner: 'Me and Mrs. Jones,' by Billy Paul, which isn't much musically but does have lyrics that resonate with people who've got a thing going on.
Even more poignant, though not reflective of the mess at City Hall, there's Whitney Houston's 'Saving All My Love For You.' Your suggestions?"