Stats
again! again!: again! again!: "Location: Portland
Work prospects: Low 1
Drinks: 2
Drugs: none for a couple weeks.
Back: Kinda stiff lately.
Effort: 4. Started doing Morning Pages again. Blogged at Sean.Keener.Org. Made some calls, cleaned my room, paid the bills. Gym. And just a little Halo2 to reward myself.
Engagement: ranging from a 1 to a 6. 2
Loneliness: 2 (1 being alone in a fundamentalist city)
Newness: 1.
Percentage of self that believes that next year at this time I will be happy:
Morning: 32%
Afternoon: 18% 3
Current: 27%
Brutally truthful answer to 'How you doin?': Full of deep downs and moderate ups
The only even prime number of medical professionals I am seeing tomorrow: 2.
Today's extras
Items knocked off to-do list - 4.
Current read: number9dream 4
Approx. # of receipts categorized: 38.
# of comments left on blogs today: 8
Approx # of different times I sang bits of One Man Show today: 43
Thing I'm most excited about tomorrow: Steve's 30th Birthday. But truth be told, I'm most excited to tell Donna & Miika about the Polyphonic Spree thing.
New medication I'm thinking of switching to: 1. (Paxil) 5
"It means a lot to find it so easy. It takes a lot to find yourself way down.
It means a lot to find it so easy. It takes a lot to find yourself way down."
1 - It's getting to be around Christmas time.
2 - I love Halo2. I'm sure it's not healthy, but it's also not just killing time. (See NHL '94, later stage Diablo II)
3 - From the moment I left and got a salad at New Seasons to the time I got back from the gym, went to New Seasons again, ate some Chicken Vesuvius or something and then started cleaning. Maybe it's not the meds I need to change, but my grocery store. Or something.
4 - Also a Lennon song. The author also wrote Cloud Atlas, which I blogged and loved.
5 - I'm on a tiny bit of Prozac and a lot of Welbutrin (aka Zyban - the help you stop smoking pill.) Prozac helps keep me afloat, and Welbutrin is a little like a kick in the ass. Except that quite obviously, I haven't been responding to the ass-kicking for most of this year. It's kinda like the stern Dad. And I'm not responding. So I think maybe my combination of anxiety and depression (quicksand analogy to follow tomorrow) might need some mothering, which is what Paxil seems to be about. Maybe I need to stop reading articles about children and anti-depressants, and instead look at articles about meds and extended adolescence.
posted by miguel at 12/02/2004 12:45:00 AM
3 Comments:
>>Maybe I need to stop reading articles about children and anti-depressants, and instead look at articles about meds and extended adolescence.<<
Or maybe you could start reading some travel books, and look at a world atlas. There is a lot out there to be engaged about. Or at least, more exotic places to be bummed out in.
Do you speak Spanish?
Some.
Part of the reason I haven't travelled is feeling like the 4 months in Madrid I spent were a bit of a letdown, as far as Figuring Things Out goes.
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