Drunk Will Show You, Everybody | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Been a while since I've linked to an Onion article. Also, check out their front page for the Beaver headline.

Drunk Will Show You, Everybody The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "Drunk Will Show You, Everybody
April 19, 2006 Issue 42 16
YOUNGSTOWN, OH - In response to the shit he knows everyone is saying about him, local resident Todd Stenerud, after a prolonged drinking session, announced his intention to show you and everyone else just minutes before closing time at a local bar Monday.

Stenerud denounces the 'total bullshit' he has endured from people.'You people don't know [what] the fuck you're talking about,' Stenerud announced from his stool at Dan's Pub. 'You think I can't? Know what? I'll show you. I'll show everybody.'"