ESPN.com - Page2 - Mailbag: My big, fat nightmare (By the way, everyone should work in a restaurant for at least six months. Aspiring writers always e-mail me for advice, and I never know what to tell them. Well, I'm telling you this: Work in a bar or a restaurant. Learn about people, get up at noon every day, go to bed at 4 a.m. every night, hang out with people who are just as confused and directionless as you are, drink and smoke as much as possible, throw wads of money around after shifts like you're a drug dealer, date somebody with no long-term potential, and live like that for six months. It will be the best thing you ever did.)

egads, sounds like my job.