Thursday, October 05, 2006

Now playing at your bar mitzvah

I never had a bar mitzvah.

Let's say I threw one now, and Uncle Morty gave me a $100k for the entertainment and demanded receipts (ie no hookers'n'blow).

We, the professional planners (do they have unions for that?) and I would then consult this handy Clear Channel list to see how far our money would go.

Thinking of acts that wouldn't get my nana's panties either in a) a bunch or (wait for it) b) sopping wet, I think my line-up goes like this:

G-Love: 30k (decent act, good multi-generational party vibe)
Sarah Silverman: 35k (she's tribe, in case you forgot. expect a discount. wait, nevermind. contradiction in stereotypes)
Torn about the rest.

Feel free to leave your line-up in the comments section. Not that anyone does that here. Why the apathy, playas? Tell me what I could change about me to make you like me more. (Editor hands me copy of Your Audience Is Just Not That Into You and Your Blog (simon & schuster 2006)).

Sigh. Off to fantasize about my bar mitzvah.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fountains of Wayne (good time pop rock for a steal at 15K)
which leaves plenty of money for
Dave Attell (30K) and
Norm McDonald (30K)...both of whom wouldn't need to perform, just drink and hangout and mingle with the crowd.

10:46 AM  

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