sports column that leads to Mariah Carey explanation

I wonder if there's a columnist somewhere who writes about something I have no interest in, but has amazing tangents and corollaries that would illuminate and entertain. And my friends would keep saying, you have *got* to read this lady from Cat Fancy magazine. You'd love her!

ESPN.com: Page 2 : All are winners in the AL: "(And speaking of Mariah, is anyone else excited about seeing her back in the limelight? For more than 10 years, she's been my kryptonite -- the one crazy female celebrity that just plain did it for me. Can't explain it. And nothing drives a woman crazier than hearing a guy say, 'I think Mariah Carey is hot' -- you might as well just say that women shouldn't have the right to vote. She's the best. I will defend her lunatic sexiness to the death. By the way, do you think she looks at Whitney Houston now the same way Tom Hanks looks at Michael Keaton, like Whitney may have one the first few battles, but Mariah won the war? Me, too."