EDSBS ? YOUR SCHOOL’S PROMOTIONAL AD IS TEH SUX0RZ! UCONN RENTS THE KINDA LONG HAIRED GUY TO PITCH THE U.

OMG. This might be a new low for University promo ads.

Best line in the comment field: "Wait, I missed it. I clicked play and it went to some old “Blossom” rerun."

EDSBS ? YOUR SCHOOL’S PROMOTIONAL AD IS TEH SUX0RZ! UCONN RENTS THE KINDA LONG HAIRED GUY TO PITCH THE U.: "YOUR SCHOOL’S PROMOTIONAL AD IS TEH SUX0RZ! UCONN RENTS THE KINDA LONG HAIRED GUY TO PITCH THE U.

We don’t even know this guy and we hate him. Today we eviscerate UConn’s horrid promo, brought to us by the discerning eye of reader Kevin from New Brunswick. Warning: this note contains language.

School: University of Connecticut

Ad title: “Great Pick”

EDSBS title: “Your asshole dormmate with the guitar pitches a university.”

Setup: A guy sits on a stool and picks out a Dave Johnson Mayer-ey white blues tune. As he plays, factoids about UConn flash beneath it, like “Number One Public University in New England,” and “Record high applications.” As each one flashes into the screen, the guitar guy looks suitably impressed, wrinkling his eyebrows and flashing his obviously whitened teeth with approval accordingly. Immediately prior to the end of the commercial a flash of images rushes at the viewer, and as the guitarist finishes up with a flourish he announces “UConn…(blows on pick)…great pick.”

Subtext: We’re UConn, and golly, we’re improving. We’re also making you listen to this shitbag pound out John Mayer/Matchbox 20/other music of diarrheal blandness in his endless quest for pussy while you hurl up Jagermeister in the bushes. Oh, and you can go to school, too."