You are not alone in blogging your way through a dreary meaningless day

The new Psychiatrist has me on new medication on the theory that my big lows are a result of big highs. Sometimes true. A theory certainly worth considering.

This also means that the firing on all cylinders is not the real me. The trying new things and being passionate and taking risks part of me is not the real me and never will be. This is a difficult thing to deal with.

So the best I'm going to get is the current me, slightly happier, slightly more productive with perhaps a couple more hobbies? That isn't exactly a great motivational tool.

The new psychologist wants me to start trying lots of new things and being more passionate and open and taking risks.

The new Psychiatrist has warned me that alcohol acts on and depresses the mental system (really? i'm paying her how much for this?) and doesn't want me to drink, especially in new social situations.

She also won't re-up my sleeping meds and all of the stuff that my therapist is asking me to think about is keeping me up at night and making my head spin, which isn't helping my sleep, which isn't helping my mood.

At least I'm not missing the Halloween party in Quinalt. Aw, fuck.

Depakote.com - Bipolar: "Start by Knowing
You are not alone

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is more common than you might think. More than 2 million American adults have bipolar disorder. It affects both men and women. The symptoms of bipolar disorder usually begin in late adolescence or early adulthood, but they sometimes begin in childhood.
You are not to blame

Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder. No one knows exactly what causes it. Doctors and scientists believe that bipolar disorder may happen as a result of structural and chemical changes in the brain. They think that these changes may be caused by a combination of biological, genetic, and environmental factors. Nothing you have done has caused it, but you should be aware that there are treatments that can help you feel better.
Bipolar disorder can be treated

Bipolar disorder is a serious, chronic illness requiring long-term treatment just like diabetes or high blood pressure. Recognizing the symptoms of bipolar disorder and getting the right treatment as early as possible are very important. If bipolar disorder is not treated, it may get worse. DEPAKOTE may be able to help treat the manic phase of bipolar disorder.

DEPAKOTE is indicated for the treatment of the manic episodes associated with bipolar disorder."