Sports | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

What I meant is HOLY SHIT! The Onion has a sports section.

From The Sports Wire
Joe Namath Guarantees He'll Lose Battle With Alcoholism

NEW YORK—Swaggering Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Namath, famous for his flamboyant lifestyle and his historic promise of victory in Super Bowl III, guaranteed Monday that he would not be victorious in his current battle with alcoholism