Miguel Caballero's Diary - news and more on the making of what would be a very dull movie, even for Lifetime
In a pastiche/homage/parody/blatant rip-off of Bridget Jones's Diary , I decided that I will start updating you with a few figures and notes that are the same every week.
Here's a problem. I've not read the book. I think that she writes down thinks like weight, calories, snogs, and shags. Drugs and alcohol, too, right?
BTW, please read the footnote to this one, especially if, you are a) a prospective employer b) a prospective romantic involvement or c) my mom.
So, here, is the inaugural edition...
Location: Portland
Work prospects: Medium
Drinks: 5-6 PBRs
Drugs: minimal.
Back: Not too bad.
Effort: 1.5 (out of a possible 10, 1 being no effort)
Engagement: 4-7 (hard to say with a Halo dominated day)
Loneliness: 3.6 (10 being spending an amazing weekend with someone)
Newness (things experienced/tried/attempted): 4. But the sequel to a video game really can't rate *that* high.
Percentage of self that believes that next year at this time I will be happy: 21%
Brutally truthful answer to 'How you doin?': Shut up, I'm playing Halo.
The only even prime number: 2. Still.
Feel free to submit a Statistic you would like to see. If we're lucky, or if someone's really bored, we might even learn how to create, save *and* post a pie chart.
Shout out to Jeff Alton.
posted by miguel at 11/10/2004 01:01:00 AM
9 Comments:
DISCLAIMER: I make shit up, just to tell a good story, or to construct a narrative which would give you, the blog reader, a general sense of well-being and purpose for the meaning of your life in this universe. None of what you've read here is true, or necessarily the opinion of the owner of this blog, nor his subsidiaries. Things you think you like or find endearing or salary-raising, please consider to be true, yet only in the sense that those stories/posts are merely modest revelations of the true greatness and character that is the owner of this blog. I often wonder what happened to the actor Richard Moll, who played 'Bull' on Night Court. I hope, that wherever he is, even in that great Community Dinner Theatre in the Sky, that he's happy. Please refer all legal inquiries to the proper authorities. Yours in Red Stateness and Moral Values and whatnot, -mc
As part of the therapy that could potentially result from expressive activity such as this, I would like to submit for today:
Number of miles spent yesterday at mercy of non-english speaking directionally challenged driver on way to new business pitch and attempted rehearsal of said presentation: How many miles are in five hours?
but this is about me.
how about for you . . .Hours or minutes wasted today:
Minutes spent wishing you lived somewhere else:
p.s. read the books. even just open one at random and read a chapter. the style is fantastic. also, you'll probably get laid more. so it's doubly worth it.
I think putting the minutes/hours wasted would do nothing but further my feelings of low self-esteem and missed opportunities.
Side note: I thought about it, and i'm proud to announce that I have the lowest, that's right, THE lowest self-esteem of anyone in my social circle.
current read
latest flick
song you're listening to
most recent NTIDFSE (nice thing I did for someone else)
hours awake
items I knocked off my to-do list
there's a few. Jen Leo
Shout out recieved tiny Elvis. I feel honored to have made the blog. By the way, there's a mass emailing going around lately that's forwarding your "Fuck the South" post. Freind of mine who i've never mentioned your blog too has recieved it and forwarded it on to others. It's the new dancing baby for the millenium, and, just in time for christmas. So expect some hate mail and threats from those good hearted christian folks. By the way, does everyone realize that (and this is a fact) the number one location for sexual predation of children by adults is churches. Had this told to me by the portland police sexual crime division during a Mentors For At Risk Youth seminar recently.
As a Catholic, I find that hard to believe.
'Fuck the South' came courtesy of an elite-liberal Jew. Let the UN black helicopter paranoid Nascar American set begin their conspiracy theories.
Personally, as mostly a southerner, and one who, can name all 13 Confederate states in order of secession and eventual redstatedness, I still think the region does have its good points. Unfortunately, most of them are in isolated blue cities.
Read this week's Mercury for more polemics on that.
One more note: Over/Under on when my Mom sends that to me is December 14. She usually lags 2-8 months behind, but seems to have been a little more caught up in the political discourse this year.
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