Yahoo! News - Texas Saleswoman Faces Trial for Selling Sex Toys

You can't make this shit up. Pretend, pretend, pretend.

My friend Greta does this, or a variation thereof.

Portions of the article follows. Lemme rant after you read it.

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Back yet? OK. I'll wait.

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OK, it's NOT a surprise that things are like that in Texas. This is the state that 'still looks down on sodomy.' (Shit, Blink182 quote.)

And it's NOT a surprise that pastor Gloria Gillaspie said QUOTE she counseled some of her 'flock'. "(The sex toys were) causing problems with their marriages," she said." ENDQUOTE

Me again: God knows what happens when your womenfolk finally find out that instead of being trapped under the snoring post-coital form of your Boss Hogg husband, sex can result in Orgasm. You know what happens? All hell (not to mention battery sales) breaks loose.

What shouldn't be a surprise but is: Texans can't spell their own names. Sisemore? Gillaspie? (btw Jill Ass Pie? 'Pastor Ass pie can you tell me about the joy of a sexless marriage?')

And who let James Brown on to the local chamber of commerce?

Towards the end of the article, and btw, what a fucking pr coup for Grandma Davis, the president of Passion Parties who says, ""Women are looking for ways to enhance their relationship, enhance their sensuality and they have nowhere to go," Davis said. "

Me: How bout the hell out of Texas? That might be a good place to go.

Further: "We are doing a lot to help women, to help couples and to help families," Davis said.

There's a notion: that Mom might be just a little happier if she could have oil rig rattling, earth shaking, TEXAS SIZE ORGASMS.

Those of you with really happy well-adjusted moms can puke now.

We'll see what Mark Morford had to say in a sec.