from my friend Hartley, about a friend of his:

From: F**** M*******

I called the bouncers at R*** sanctimonious (not really little used, but it
threw them a bit) when I got kicked out last weekend for being too fucked
up. Pretty good story, cliff notes version

Two tabs, fucked up, not sure what happened, got kicked out and put in an
interrogation room, flashlights, yelling, intimidation tactics, "What are
you on?" "What are you on?" I say "Ecstasy" and they get all pissed,
accuse me of selling it, where did you get it, why are you bringing that
shit in our club, blah blah blah. I was remarkably calm for barely being
able to see and I respond "First of all I didn't say I was selling anything
and secondly, don't give me that sanctimonious bull shit, you know exactly
what you are selling here." They were thrown a bit and tried to get me to
sign something, not sure what it was so I say "I can't even focus enough to
read that. I am not signing anything. I am an attorney, I know I don't
have to sign anything. Is this interrogation over?" To which they reply
"This isn't an interrogation, stop throwing words like that around, there is
no need for that." I respond, "Great, is this interrogation over? Because
one of two things are happening, either I am leaving or you are going to be
forced to hold me against my will in which case I will own this hotel." and
I walked out.