i like this one. (don't read anything into this, i just like it. i'm cynical. so fucking sue me.)

www.gapingvoid.com : Hugh MacLeod Within 1 week of meeting this person you realize that not only have you found your soulmate, but you've found your soulmate who likes to have sex 4 times a day in the bed, on the dining table, on the kitchen floor, in the changing rooms at Bloomingdale's etc.

Within 2 weeks you're already talking about moving in together.

Within 3 weeks you're talking about having babies together.

Within 4 weeks you realize this person is a complete psychopath.

Within 5 weeks this person also thinks you're a complete psychopath.

Within 6 weeks you're sitting at a restaurant with an old friend who is giving you the "How come you only call me when you're single" speech.