Closing paragraph:

Ice-T's involvement in the campaign comes shortly after Ozzy Osbourne announced that he will be launching a range of condoms as part of the merchandising opportunities arising from his hit family reality TV show The Osbournes.

Cut to Ozzy and Sharon in the bedroom.
Ozzy (fumbling with condom): Ah carnt, but the BLEEPing thing open, aarhwwhlereljljk BLEEP.

Several minutes pass in this fashion.

Ozzy: JAAAACCCK! Get in here! I can't get this damn thing to work.