Best Week Ever ? Blog Archive ? Understanding A Piven Party

Feeling kinda empty about my birthday mañana. Why am I celebrating another chance to let another year slip by.

At least Jeremy Piven knows how I feel.

Best Week Ever ? Blog Archive ? Understanding A Piven Party: "Understanding A Piven Party

pivenhat.jpgWhen aging bachelor Jeremy Piven has a birthday party, his boys pull out all the stops - possibly because they’re not sure how many he’s going to have left. Party favors, birthday cake, music, dancing and, of course, wild young girls are all staples at any classic Piven party. But while the resulting photographic documentation might leave the untrained viewer confused about what in the hell actually happens at these little soirees, your friends here at BWE have used our insider knowledge to provide you with narrative captions explaining the progression of events at this particular Piven party. Join the party after the jump.

(Image removed at request of source. Basically, a very shirtless Pivs is staring at his birthday cake, looking all bummed out.)

The birthday boy, no longer content blowing lines off the coffee table with his buddies, sullenly contemplates his own mortality. How did 41 years of age sneak up on him so fast? And what has he spent all this time doing? Still a confirmed bachelor, his greatest life accomplishment thus far is playing a sociopathic Hollywood soul-sucker on a cable TV show. Man, this sucks…"