The Onion | Coke Party Takes A Couple Minutes To Get Going

The Onion | Coke Party Takes A Couple Minutes To Get Going: "Coke Party Takes A Couple Minutes To Get Going

POMPANO BEACH, FL—According to partygoers, an impromptu cocaine bash on North Ocean Boulevard took three to four minutes to really get hopping Monday night. 'This place is like a morgue,' said Paul Manero, moments after doing a line. 'I wonder if they've got any of those daiquiris left. Oh God, look, things are warming up. Hey Mark, do you have any of those daiqui—know where I got these shoes? I got them at—what's that? Hey, did I tell you I went to Chicago last week? Yeah, it was—hey, what's this song? Chingy? It sucks! This rules!' According to clean and sober sources, the party actually blew all along."