NYTimes.com Article: No Saints in Sight as These Santas Get Their Jollies

This is how I spent Saturday in NYC. Santacon. Truth be told, it was more fun than the PDX one the previous year.

Big up to White Heat (pictured) for getting me out there.

No Saints in Sight as These Santas Get Their Jollies

December 12, 2004
By ALAN FEUER

Santa broke out the sour mash at 10 a.m. Christmas was
coming. Why not have a drink?

He raised his glass to another Santa, who was sucking back
some Colt 45.

"Pace yourself," the second Santa said. "I started with
beer this year, not Jim Beam like last year."

Santa got drunk yesterday. He cursed. He smoked. He took
off his clothes in public. It was Santacon, an annual
gathering of nasty Santas, in which some 500 naughty
Clauses marched through the city, shouting, drinking,
raising gentle mayhem.

Santacon began 10 years ago in San Francisco, where 30
friends, disheartened by the happiness of Christmas, got
together in their Santa suits and set out to have some fun.
They crashed a dinner dance and stole people's drinks. Went
to a strip club. Drank themselves silly. Some made it home.
Others slept in the streets.

This year, Santacon was - or will be - celebrated from New
York to Tokyo and places in between. Its schedule and
history can be found online at href=http://www.santarchy.com>www.santarchy.com.

The brains behind Santacon are something of a mystery, its
organizers remaining underground. A reporter in the crowd
set out yesterday to find the Claus-in-Charge but was told
there was no main Claus, only subordinate Clauses.

There are four cardinal rules at Santacon. Don't mess with
the police. Don't mess with kids. Don't mess with store
security. And don't mess with Santa. These rules were
printed on the backs of vomit bags. The bags were passed
among the crowd.

New York's Santacon began with dim sum at the Triple 8
Palace, a Chinese joint on East Broadway under the
Manhattan Bridge.

"In the North Pole, we don't get a chance to eat often
Chinese very often," one Santa said. "So when we come to
the city, we like to hit the Asian places."

This Santa, like most, asked to use his working name for
reasons of professional privacy. So, Santa it was - all
around.

"Santa's hungry!" Santa called out to the waiter.

"Santa's taking his pants off!" Santa hollered in the
Triple 8. And he did. At the dim sum cart.

After fueling up, Santa headed for the F train. "Have you
been nice or naughty?" one lovely Santa in a pair of
fishnet stockings asked a police officer.

The officer said he'd been naughty.

"Well, you get two
candy canes for being naughty," lovely Santa said.

When the F train started, 200 Santas lurched and shouted,
"Ho!"

It was a sea of hats and beards and bellies. There were so
many Santas, one began to wonder how they got the day off.
It was, after all, the holidays - Santa's busiest time of
year.

"Wal-Mart took my job," said Santa Lamar.

Santa Kevin had a different answer. "Santa got outsourced
to India," he said.

In the West 34th Street station, Santa broke the escalator.
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" the crowd of Santas yelled.

Then Santa stopped in Herald Square to sing some variations
on carols - "Frosty the Cokehead" and "Chipmunks Roasting
on an Open Fire."

It was on to the New York Public Library, where several
hundred Santas gathered on the front steps shouting: "Santa
wants a beer! Santa wants a beer!"

One woman turned to her husband with a frown. "This," she
said, "is really going to mess up the kids."

There was a dicey moment when two traffic officers gave
Santa Claus the eye as he and 300 pals crossed 42nd Street
at the Avenue of the Americas. A Santa in the vanguard told
the officers a few more Santas would be coming in their
wake.

"Whose streets?" one Claus chanted. "Santa's streets!" the
crowd called back.

Now Santa headed for that beer. "Belly up to the bar!" one
Santa shouted as Santas, by the hundreds, wandered into an
Italian place on West 44th Street.

They ordered drinks and staged a belching competition. It
was 2 p.m. The day was young.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/12/nyregion/12claus.html?ex=1104073323&ei=1&en=63
c98172836a2631

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