String Cheese Incident - Hepatitis A

From Pitchfork .

I hope Chewy went and got himself vaccinated. Story follows:

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Traveling String Cheese Incident Fans Spread...Er, "Share" Hepatitis
Dick cheese incident another health matter entirely

[Posted Wednesday, October 8th, 2003 04:00:00 Pitchfork Central Time]

Ashford Tucker reports:
According to the Houston Chronicle, Washington Times and KindWeb.com, loads of silly jerks who follow the reprehensible shitgrass band The String Cheese Incident from town to town are spreading (ummm...we, like, prefer "sharing" to "spreading," dude) the hepatitis A virus at an alarming rate. Though not quite a full blown social epidemic just yet, the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta states that it will focus on vaccinating "kids who travel with the band."

Vaccinations were given for free at the band's recent Oakland, CA concert. Hepatitis A causes nausea and vomiting for approximately a week or two. It's not usually life-threatening, though, unlike its bad motherfucking older brother hepatitis B. And hepatitis C, you remember, is what Pam and Tommy gave each other and then tried to play off as the result of a tattooing accident.

The A strain of hepatitis, in fact, is not generally found in nations with developed sanitation systems. It's not so much a needles-and-sex-virus as it is a wipe-ass-with-hand-while-drinking-from-the-Ganges-virus. So, moms and dads, tell little Billy to take a freakin' bath every week or so while on "tour." Or don't-- I mean, if Billy liked listening to you, he probably wouldn't be an acid-devouring gypsy wasting away the most productive years of his life running away from you and sleeping in friends' Vanagons.

In closing, we here at Pitchfork would like to beg all of the simple fucks involved to begin a rigorous regimen of warshing before they resurrect the bubonic plague and plunge us back into the dark ages. I'm not sure the Arab world would bail us all out again.